I've found myself to be complacent this Thanksgiving. Kamryn is doing well, we are all together in one place and most things are going good. I've taken for granted the "smooth road" we are now on.
The last fee weeks have been difficult and have reminded me how far we've come. The death of a cardiac baby at Children's in Seattle gave me reason to cry and hold my children tighter. Two heart transplant in the same hospital also gave me reason to cry, but with tears of joy. And again I held my children tighter. With the announcement of every transplant my mind and body raced back to memory of February 17, 2012. Joy and sorrow filled me at the same time, hope welled as I tried to push the fear back down. Lives were being changed forever.
My complacency had lead me to stop Fully Relying on God. That darn, I can fix this myself, had reared its ugly head. At Kamryn's last appointment her Dr stated, "from a cardiac stand point she's fine". A good reminder that I'm not the one that made that work. I was not involve in the creation of the heart Kamryn now has beating in her chest. God designed, orchestrated and ultimately made the decision where that heart was to go.
There are several stories hitting the web about moms listening to the heart of their loved one transplanted into another. The only transplantable organ you can actually hear, is the one I listen to everyday. It's gone the complacency, these last few weeks have hit hard. Reminding me to be thankful for a long, bumpy, seaming impossible road that lead us to be, all together in one place. For that I'm Thankful.
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